a transcript, with clickables:
It’s been a week. It’s been 2 weeks and some change since I last recorded one of these, and I am... literally... just at the end of quite a stretch of activity. Um, and even though in the wise words of Ian Beale, I’ve got nothing left, I’ve just pressed pause on listening to music and pressed record on doing this, interestingly, just came to me to do it, and I think that... that makes a lot of sense. Given that, I’m about to go home and close, shut up shop, essentially. I think a stranger just shouted hello to me, but obviously I’m otherwise engaged. Um...
Yeah, I think the best recap on my fortnight is now, while for want of a better phrase, the portal is still open.. which I’ll get into why I’ve put it that way. So I came into London the weekend before last. I could slow down walking. I also want to get to where I’m going to.. just to acknowledge the huff and puff in the background.
Yeah, I came into London the weekend before last.. it’s a Monday now.. um, specifically, well, because I started iii uh, last Monday, but there was a screening that my friend Nabil Alkinani was holding with a couple of his friends and colleagues around, um, turning their council estates in North West London into publishing houses. They’ve published two books out of their ends and there was a documentary made about it.. and that’s what I went to watch. Nabil is... one of the more, one of the most inspirational people I’ve ever come across in my life. And an artist that I worked with, a visual artist called Darryl Daley, posted about the book that Nabil had written, Privatise The Mandem like a few years ago and I started following his account, and when the opportunity arose for me to apply for the Material Archive at Siobhan Davies, which is essentially bringing old work back to life, but not in live performance form, I had an idea to reach out to Nabil.. to have a conversation as part of the exhibition. Um, because the, the work mum. edit. more. was around.. I’m dancing to my mum talking about the gentrification of Brixton, and he works very much in built environment, redevelopment, regeneration. He works for the kinds of companies that do that, with a view to learning how it works. And, you know, to have a job, because we all need one. But he puts the knowledge that he has those industries to just the best use. And we met on the day of the panel. And I haven’t seen him, could count on one hand, perhaps, the times I’ve seen him since, but we are in touch, we are in communion, should I say? And I am just such a fan of his work. his pursuit of good, and better, and his the value he places, and where he’s from. And I share that. I am a fan of it, but I can relate to it. And to see him and his friends and his community take over 2 screens at Vue Leicester Square, insane. Insane. That in and of itself was incredible. But then what the document, the documentary was incredible. And as I said to him earlier, some real kind of dreamlike stuff and how it was shot that made it a piece of art that sometimes documentaries don’t necessarily feel like in the retelling of a story. But then, as someone that’s writing more and looking towards publishing myself, just so incredibly inspiring.. to be in receipt of the how, and how it doesn’t need to be done so far removed from what.. from the resources that are around. Which speaks to a lot of areas of my creative life to be fair.
And then into iii which is always, man, if I could bottle each edition, just so that I could explain how greatly different they are from each other, but then to do some kind of flavour test to see what the similarities are, ‘cause there always are some. I mean, I’m the common denominator as well as the alum that revisit. But it, yeah, it was really beautiful. I think it’s a good thing that I, I’m recording this now because I’m still, I’m not in the week, but I’m in space holding mode, and I’ve been talking about it with people, because I’m really tired. Like, I’m really tired. I’m not drained ‘cause I’m so fulfilled and so happy with it. All, all of it. But me as facilitator of it, there’s a really interesting trick or element for me to be aware of in it not being physically taxing in the slightest for me. Very little dancing from me. And it’s not always mentally or emotionally taxing or intense for me either. I would say that it’s more so, the students are perhaps more challenged in that area than I am. Um, the challenge for me, is holding space for all of that to come up for the cohort. And holding space for, no matter how ‘chill’ or fluid it might be, still, like leading that and going with that. So I’m not like, ‘feel more, do more, give more’, but also, always creating the container for that intensity. As the wind blows. Hopefully not so loud I can’t be heard. My hat almost blew off my head. So we can assume that maybe the wind was that tough. Um, yeah, maintaining that space holding for a week. I’m just, I’m holding my arms out, like I’m creating a container, but I also need to kind of back away from the edges of that so that I can stay in the middle of what is occurring and in creating a space where everyone is free to have their own experience, the one that they need to have and not me driving us all towards a common goal.
It’s a lot. It doesn’t feel like it whilst doing it, but when I get to the tail end of it, I can feel really light and bright and into the Saturday, like, actually went out on the Friday night after finishing, which was fine, because there is that initial lightness around it, but as the past few days have gone by I, I’m tired. I’m tired. And I did cancel any plans that I had in the week because I realised that I needed to... Not even sit and consciously consider what the day had been, but just create space in my evenings so that those reflections could come if they came and then onwards into the thing. Um, and we did that. As a group. We did that really well. I’m really proud of everybody, some real useful stuff came up for folks in there, I think, which is always a delight. Sometimes it’s just a nice time for people. And sometimes it’s a really nice time plus they get quite big takeaways and that is a real gift to be a part of for people. Um, yeah, I guess, because my nose is against the glass of it. And with my, uh... capacity being minimal... My observations. My reflections of it are like my reflections and my experience, which is also, I think, a really good thing to put word to because I can, this isn’t a judgement on any of the community of the iii family at all. But I am very rarely asked whilst doing it.. um, how I am. Like, in passing in the way that, like, people do in greetings, but I remember being asked once and it being really, I feel like I got quite emotional.
In any case, word of mouth has built the thing. Um, so the community are talking about it so there’s experiences of students swirling around. I don’t think my experience is swirling around. It is really my greatest achievement, to be honest. I’m so proud of it and what it does for everybody. And as I said, on Friday when we were having a group chat about the reflections and highlights and... like my highlight is that all seeing eye bit. I’m really proud of myself for being able to do it because it’s big work from me. Not in on the day and in the moment, but we have the capacity to do that. I’ve done some big work, clearly, because it is, it’s quite the feat. And it sounds like I am really flexing, but maybe I am. So I’m really proud of myself for allowing it to evolve also because I think it was a bit more prescriptive, still very helpful. But yeah, it feels like it’s stretched and expanded in the ways that the community need it to, but also that I I need it to as well. Um, so I’m extremely happy about that.
And you are finding me having just taught a choreography class, which was also really beautiful. I brought a thing back from 2018 at the request of sweet Yasmin, one of my students. And the archives are just.. they’re golden. I love them. I love revisiting that version of myself. Um, I dropped into.. I taught a section and I had a real moment of, gosh, I remember teaching it. It just flowed out the way it flowed out, but I remember teaching it that exact way 9 years ago. It was just like, what is going on? 2016, if I didn’t say that. I can do maths. It was 9 years ago. Um, I like letting students that might have seen it, but maybe been younger, or just not in that class, just to have the opportunity to learn the things that they’ve liked in the past. There’s just so many benefits to bringing, bringing the old things back. And I really had a gorge time.
And then in between those 2 things sweet spot sundaze happened. Um, We did D’Angelo only, just the 3 albums back to back, in tribute to the great man himself, and it was really special. It was really nice for me because the music was just playing where normally I’m curating as it goes and as the room’s moving. There’s a theme emerging here. So that was nice for me. And then also, the majority of people were there, because it was a sweat box. I didn’t, um, I only announced it like a couple of weeks before that I was doing just D’Angelo, but for the few that... Yes. For the few that were there for D’Angelo, I think it’s really special to be in community with it, with the music, and with the knowledge of it and like what it means for each of us. So that was a really beautiful thing.
Um, agency stuff has been plodding along and I was staying on top of it all, though I did let a couple, a couple of things slip. No major ones, but just not so hot on getting invoices raised as I maybe would have been on a normal day. Um, But that’s okay. It’s okay. Some challenges still in cruise land for us all. Wild, Wild West out there in them streets, but learning more, looking after the people that need looking after and keeping it moving. Um, yeah, but not too much to.. no deep work in the agency of it all because how? And to be honest, it doesn’t, the reason that I’ve been able to do that for as long as I have been is because it isn’t deep work. It sits very neatly alongside everything else because it is top level, black and white, put things in there. There’s like order there that a creative life generally doesn’t..So, yeah, all things ticking on over there, ticking on, ticking over there. Um, I’m standing outside my parents’ house and I really am gonna go really am going to, really want to, am going to, go in, get my dog out and drive to my home. So those are really my things. Those are all the things.
I have not even spoken about the fact that I ‘launched’ the substack, but I will not be talking about that now because I will not. But I will, I’ll be back to do that bit, which is very, what do they call it, like meta, um, to talk about it on the thing that, I’m not sure I need to talk about it because the proof’s in the pud, it’s happening, it’s out. But a joy for it to be out. And actually it was quite, okay, I’m doing it now. Um, it had been on my to-do list for some time. And it was pissing me off, starting to piss me off that I hadn’t figured it out, figured out how I wanted to do it, and I made the decision one day, following Luke just asking me, like, ‘when are you, when are you doing it?’ By the way.. I might have spoken about this already. Anyway, I’m gonna keep it sweet, short and sweet. I just decided to sort out the message that subscribers get when they sign up. And then an hour later, I think I’d written and shared the things and posted on Insta that it was a happening thing and people started to subscribe and it was a really.. it’s exactly the way I would have wanted it to go. Maybe not the procrastination around it and just like telling myself I needed to figure out how to do it before doing it, but the ease that surrounded it, when it did happen, told me, a) that it was the right thing, right time, and b) that I’m supposed to be doing it. And I, I guess that’s all there is to say about, that’s, that, that, I’m signing off. I need to go get my dog and go home. Thank you for listening voice memo. This will probably reach the public in about 2 months time. And what a joy and time to be alive. Speak to you all soon.
